It has been a crazy busy week, but there is one event that takes the cake for funniest experience of the week.
Now, please. Let me tell you a story about Goldy the chicken.!
Saturday afternoon we had planned to go see Mary and David. They are the couple whose wedding we attended at the Episcopalian church a couple weeks ago. We got to their house and peeked over the fence to yell "hello!" Mary and David both start shaking there heads at us and saying things like, "Not a good time!" "We have a pet emergency!" "Come back later!" "Dog got the chicken!" We asked if everything was ok and David starts yelling, "One of the chickens got out of the coop and the dog got to it, and now we have to nurse it back to health." We asked if we could help with anything and Mary said "I will come let you in the door." David yells at her "Mary, NO! We do not have time for them!" She starts to pout and says "I need them!!" David turns to us and says "Do you know how to nurse a chicken back to health?" I am thinking "There is no way in heck that I am touching a chicken." Then I hear my companion say "We can try!!" So Mary comes and lets us in. She is coddling this chicken in her arms and kissing its head while David is running through the house trying to set up a temporary shelter for this injured chicken. He told us to distract Mary!
We first were assigned to look through chicken books and try to find "how to nurse a chicken back to health." I was glad to have something to do with my eyes and hands so I didn't look as weirded out as I felt.
While we are talking to Mary about how the chicken got loose, I suddenly I hear my companion say, "Um. It's head." The chickens head had flopped to the side. Mary brings it back to her shoulder and is encouraging it...like this. "Come on baby, come to momma, its ok, stay with my baby." Man I wish I had a video of my face this whole time. The chicken relaxes for a minute and then it starts having a seizure or something. It's head is flinging from side to side, and Mary is freaking out, "No baby! Don't leave me!!" She lays the chicken on the ground and it can't stand up. David runs over and starts yelling into his phone, "How to nurse a chicken back to health!!!" Siri started to read him a chicken recipe. ha ha ha ha ha! Mary looks at him and says, "David! This is not the time!!" He tried again and it started playing a John Lennon song. ba ha ha
David tries to tell Mary that he will get her two new chickens to add to her 10+ chickens, but she didn't want new ones. She wanted Goldy. The chicken is not moving hardly at all now, so what is the practical solution? CPR. Yes, my friends, Mary and David put their mouths over that chickens beak and breathed into it --full on. The chickens chest raised and deflated again. Sister Wesolek, being the positive person she is says, "Um mouth to mouth won't do anything if there is no heartbeat." AGHH. So now they are frantically trying to find a pulse
on this chicken, Mary is still crying, and David tries his phone again. They called the tractor supply place to ask for help and they told them if there was internal bleeding, they couldn't save the chicken. While on the phone, it was determined that Goldy the chicken had officially passed through the veil.
I gave my condolences and other wise stayed quiet. My companion on the other hand pulls out her iPad and shares a quote about animal resurrection. David and Mary are hugging on the ground while Mary holds this dead chicken and then David said a prayer that the chickens soul would be received into heaven. Oh my heck, at this point I am just dumbfounded. But it gets better... Mary decided that the only way to keep Goldy with them would be to butcher her, and eat her! Finally, I pipe up trying to save myself. "Ok, well should we come back
in a couple days?" Sister Wesolek, "No it needs to be now." Mary starts crying about how they got to cremate their other animals and David said absolutely not, they had already spent too much on that. Sister Wesolek again, "Well maybe you could make your own crematory and do it yourself?" WHAT?!?! Now I am coughing loudly trying to get her to shut up. Mary and David tried to plan out how they could do that and then decided butchering would be better. "Do you know how to butcher?" they asked. I volunteered my companion :) She had just told me that day that she had to watch someone do it on trek! hahahaha
David sets up the backyard to butcher the kitchen and Sister Wesolek helps Mary pluck feathers from Goldy to create jewelry. Yes, that was my companions idea! I just sat dumbstruck on the couch and drank a soda that David gave me. I got put in charge of boiling water for the chicken to sit in. And then I had to go outside with my
companion and David to butcher the chicken. I couldn't face them, so I helped Mary find ideas to keep the other chickens from escaping in the mean time.
To my absolute despair, we had to leave before Sister Wesolek could help fillet the chicken because we had a baptism to attend. On the way there, I replayed the entire scenario while shouting because I could not believe what had just happened. So there you go. We witnessed the death of Goldy the chicken. In the meantime I almost killed my companion for (1) suggesting that someone build their own crematory, (2) suggesting that they pluck chicken feathers for jewelry and tell them where to find the supplies, and (3) tell me in the car that she
had to pick up the chopped off chicken head with a garbage bag, and hadn't washed her hands after this whole ordeal! I could not have been a pioneer. Or a cowgirl. Or a cave woman!
Melia got baptized in this area last December and she was going to get sealed to her fiance this December, but she ended up needing a place to live, so she moved in with Dillon and his parents, but his parents were wise and encouraged them to get married if that was the case. So they got married on Friday! It was super simple, but we were happy for them! They will both receive their endowments this January. :)
|Melia & Dillon|
needed for the program. I don't know what we would have done without them!
Nury called us today to tell us that she didn't keep her commitment and has been drinking tea. She asked us to bring the tea we took from her back :p We will take over her buddy Easton tomorrow and see where
we can help her from here.
Delbert Adams is doing so stinking well!!! We told him our goal is to get him to the temple and he laughed at us at first, but then we could see him start to get excited about the idea. So we gave him homework to read. We went over a few days later and he had read his homework several times and took notes :) He proudly showed them to us :) We talked to him again about the temple and invited him to set up a meeting with the Bishop. Tonight, we will see if he did it :) He said that missionaries in the past have been so sweet, but ever since me and Sister Erekson came and started making him keep commitments, he's started to really be serious about doing the homework we leave him. Now he's reading, praying, he stopped drinking tea cold-turkey this week, and now he's really on his way to going to the temple. My goal is to go with him before I leave :) He admitted to us this week that he dreams of being able to be a temple worker with his sister in Snowflake :) Wahoo!!!!
Marie is still doing great :) She is hopefully meeting with Bishop tomorrow for her first temple recommend, depending on her work schedule I think. She told us after sacrament meeting yesterday with
tears in her eyes, "You know, I look forward to this all week!"
Ciara is a new investigator we picked up. She's really interested in improving her life and a big part of it is for her sons sake. The hard thing with her is, once again, addictions, and the fact that everyone she lives around is a terrible influence!!! She wants to come to church, but is afraid of being judged. So we need to bring members
with us to her lessons and show her that she will be fine :)
Those were definitely the highlights of this week, I hope everyone got a kick out of the chicken story. It is definitely one of those unforgettable moments that you cannot believe you witnessed.
I love you family!! Happy 16 months :) Thank you for the paquete!!!!
I love you, I Love You, I LOVE YOU
|Weekly lunch with Brother Phil|